VIRGINIA BEACH — I sometimes struggle when it comes to making an apology.
I think the reason is ego. People never want to think we could be wrong. We tend to think that we’re pretty close to perfect. That we never make mistakes or do and say the wrong thing.
When it becomes obvious we’ve made a mistake, we tend to look around to see who else might be at fault. We might say, “I’m sorry, but … ”
The “but” usually leads to whatever we consider the party responsible for making us have to apologize in the first place.
That’s ego talking.
Ego makes us try to believe that, surely, due to our perfect nature, we aren’t capable of making a grievous mistake that warrants an apology. So we blame a third party, weather, the day of the week, our mood, what we ate or just about anything we can to deflect the spotlight.
So how can we avoid doing this? We have to own it and hold ourselves accountable.
That’s what Southwest Airlines did this past month. As you recall, their entire system came to a halt during perhaps the busiest travel time of year. Thousands of travelers were delayed, missed connections or had their travel canceled entirely.
My family and I were among them. We spent Christmas Eve in line at Norfolk International Airport after our flight to Omaha via Chicago was delayed. The wait grew from an hour to two to four, then cancelation. We suspected that we would run into problems due to the massive winter storm that socked the Midwest and Northeast the days before.
We went into scramble mode as we stood in a line with the hopes that a Southwest agent could help us at the ticket counter. The line moved slower than a snail’s pace. It felt like my daughter, 13 at the start of the journey, might be old enough to vote by the time we got within earshot of the counter.
With cancellations piling up, Southwest’s system appeared to have gone into “I can’t do this anymore and am going to bed” mode. Our agent, who somehow still managed to smile despite the chaos surrounding him, told us upfront that there were very few options and then added, “And this is totally on us. We haven’t handled this storm and its effects very well at all. I’m truly very sorry.”
We were frustrated and disappointed, but this was refreshing to hear.
I thanked him. and we headed back home to plot our next strategy. The plan ended up being to get ourselves to Kansas City and then drive to Omaha. Which we managed.
A few days later, Bob Jordan, CEO of Southwest Airlines, issued a statement of sincere apology to all their customers and employees. He took ownership of it all. He didn’t blame the weather or their computers or any other of the usual suspects.
“We have some real work to do in making this right.” he said, according to Yahoo News.
If only we could be so honest and forthright when we find ourselves in need of apologizing to someone.
I’m going to try to do so this year. Maybe 2023 can be the year of heartfelt apologies.
And travel plans that don’t go bust.
The author, a business coach and consultant, is active in community service and enjoys time with his wife, Kim, and daughter, Kara. Reach him via email at mckco85@aol.com.
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